I'm late for everything.

Hello,

If you are having this read to you mum, by your servant?

Happy Mothers day, love you.

I apologise for it being late, but we had to take Alanna to the Doctors last night as she came out in a rash, we were there until gone midnight. But she loved it and was running around in the waiting room grabbing everything in sight, laughing, talking and just being the total opposite to how we had described her to the paramedics on the phone. Which was nice of her.

Anyway, she is on antibiotics and will hopefully be back to her normal self in a few days time.

I saw two birds fighting in a garden today.

It reminded me of the time that a seagull attacked me while I was working on a roof down in Hastings, it was a flat roof with a parapet wall around it, I was working away, minding my own business, when I realised I could hear the chirping of chicks.

I got up and moved nearer to the sound, peered over the wall to the next roof and saw some tiny seagull chicks, they were quite sweet to be honest, I remember thinking how could these sweet little things end up becoming those horrible, screaming, chip thieving, menaces that give us a headache after 4 minutes of being at the coast?

After I had gotten bored of looking at them, because they all looked the same and were beginning to irritate me with their chirping, I turned around to go back to work, when I came face to face with the biggest seagull I have ever seen. It was standing on a disused chimney stack, that placed it perfectly at my own head height.

So there we are, looking at each other, no-one wanting to look away.

I thought it would be an easy stare out to be honest, its only a bird for goodness sake!

Wrong!

It starts pacing left and right on this chimney stack, like 'Mike Tyson' used to prowl the ring in the 80's. Never taking its eyes of me, nodding its beak at me and getting vocal.

I tried to walk around the chimney, it screamed at me so loudly that I backed away.

Well that allowed it to get brave didn't it. Next thing I know it is airborne, right in my face, flapping its wings at me, which must have been over 2 feet in span, screaming and screeching at me as it flapped like it was insane, its eyes wanted my blood!

One worry I had as it backed me in to the corner of the roof, was that it would peck my eyeballs out.

I was trapped now, sat on my bum, wedged in the corner, as it flapped so close to my head, that I could feel the gusts of wind that this powerful creature was creating, blowing in my face and hair. In a minute its going to hit my face with its wings, I thought to myself loudly, as I could not hear anything over the screaming.

At this point I kind of accepted my fate, it is going to get my eyes. I kept looking at it, I wanted to look around really, see as much as I could, take it all in. But the seagull was less than ten centimetres away from my face, so I had to look at that. Bit annoying really.

Suddenly, it went absolutely mental at me, I didn't have time to think, I just watched from my corner as the seagull flapped and flapped and screeched with such rage and anger at me, that it did a massive poo.

That's something that I have never seen on the 'Angry Birds' app.

It then flew over to the other side of the wall, where its chicks were still chirping.

It was a Mother protecting her babies.

I don't think it was even Mothers day?

But neither is today.

I don't know if I have a point in any of that?

If I do have, then please let me know what it was.

Right, it is late now, and I have not had a lot of sleep.

Tomorrow I might talk about the time that I got myself locked in the toilet at work, and was in there for an hour before anyone noticed I was missing!

But there is not much more to that story, so I may not.

Goodnight all.

Gary.